Deceit: A Friends to Lovers Standalone Romance Read online

  Poker became another secret Knox and I shared, and we would play in Knox’s room at night or down at the stables when we were supposed to be tending the horses. As time passed, Knox and I spent most of our free time together. Even after Isaac warned us that it was inappropriate and would result in punishment, we still found time to sneak away while he was at work, which was most of the time. And Dina seemed to live in her own world, so she wasn’t even a concern. Under these circumstances, the pond became a special place for us. During summer, we swam. In winter, we ventured for long walks through the forest. We sat by the pond with blankets as Knox wrote lyrics and hummed new songs while I developed my own hobby of sketching people and landscapes, Knox being my prized model. As he sat writing heart-searing words, I put pencil to paper and sketched the beautiful edges of his face, his sharp jaw, his strong nose. As our friendship blossomed, something else took root.

  Chapter 4

  Grace

  On this particular spring evening, the Duncan family just finished a hearty meal of meatloaf and potatoes. My sisters were helping Dina clean the dishes, since they rarely used the old dishwasher in the house. I stood by the sink drying dishes; it was our usual after dinner ritual before everyone broke off for homework and reading the Bible. Dina mentioned a headache and requested we finish up on our own. Of course, we obliged. Isaac had already disappeared into his study, as he did most evenings, and Jacob made his usual retreat into his room for an evening of studying. Knox… well, no one knew where he disappeared to for hours on end.

  While the girls were cleaning the dishes and kitchen, it was Ida’s voice that broke the silence. “Hey, Greta, heard you and the Thompson boy took a nice long walk together yesterday after church.” Ida grinned at her elder sister, shifting her eyebrows up and down, suggestively insinuating there was something more than friendship blooming between Greta and the Thompson boy. Greta had just celebrated her twentieth birthday a few months before. Everyone knew it was a matter of time before she caught the fancy of one of the boys in town. Ida, younger by two years, was not conservative like Greta, or modest for that matter. She had become well acquainted with the opposite sex a number of years back when she and her friend, Missy, learned they could run away to Des Moines to meet boys who didn’t have to follow the rules of courting. Unlike Knox, Ida never got caught. She was smart, careful, and actually cared what her parents thought of her—even if that picture was false. In recent months, Knox and Ida had been bumping into each other in Des Moines numerous times, although Knox never admitted to me his true reasons for visiting the neighboring town. It was Ida who would let things slip.

  “Oh! Do tell, sister,” Marie cut in, rubbing her palms together. Marie was usually the quiet one, but something about her sister’s defiant behavior sparked a curiosity within her. At sixteen, Marie was the youngest of the three Duncan sisters. With red locks as bright as fire, a face sprinkled with freckles, and eyes the color of caramel, she was a sweet sight to see. Even in their pious town, the boys turned their heads to glance at her, and it seemed like Marie couldn’t care less.

  A pink fluster crawled up Greta’s cheeks as a small giggle erupted from her throat, and she held both her fists together close to her heart. “He is dreamy. We talked for hours outside the church. His parents hung around to chaperone. Did you notice his blue eyes?” she asked with the same dreamy tone. “We have so much in common. I’m hoping he’ll ask to see me again. Mama seems to think he wants to court me.”

  I watched my sisters intently. Over the years, I had come to think of each of them as a sister. They gave me advice on friends and fashion, although I didn’t succeed in the friendship department and thought their sense of fashion was rather bland. Despite this, I still grew fond of them.

  “You make me laugh, Greta. Are you really going to oblige our parents and allow him to court you?” Ida asked, almost condescendingly.

  Greta’s eyes turned wide. “Ida,” she scolded, shifting her eyes to me before forcing a smile. Greta knew of Ida’s indecencies. However, I was supposed to be in the dark about it, and as the eldest, Greta felt it her duty to shield me.

  “What?” Ida asked, drying off a dish and batting her lashes innocently.

  “Don’t ‘what’ me. Some of us believe a man shouldn’t touch a woman before they’re married,” Greta said quietly, leaning toward Ida’s ear.

  “What was that, Greta?” Marie leaned in close to her sister, attempting to hear her low words. “Ugh! So you have not been touched by a man.” Marie giggled, which bought her narrowed eyes from Greta.

  At thirteen years old, I felt slightly out of my element. I definitely had taken notice of the opposite sex. Comparing every boy in my class to Knox seemed to be the least of my worries, because lately I wondered what a kiss from him would feel like.

  “Marie, these aren’t things you need to interest yourself with,” Greta affirmed.

  “Yeah, Marie, seriously,” Ida said, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “Maybe by next year you can come on a little road trip with me to Des Moines, and I can teach you how to really live.” Ida winked, smiling at her younger sister who seemed clueless.

  “What is in Des Moines that’s so interesting?” Marie asked innocently.

  “Boys. Lots of them. Handsome, teenage boys who don’t believe it’s a sin to touch a girl. They kiss and touch…” Ida touched her neck as a flush of heat ran over her skin at the thought of her fond memories in town.

  I felt my own cheeks flush at Ida’s words. At my school, boys and girls played separately; they were definitely not allowed to date. Teachers even taught those rules in the classroom. All this talk of boy crushes made my mind drift to Knox. It dampened my spirits that in recent months he had grown more distant. We still had our walks and time in the forest on weekends, but during the week he would disappear to Des Moines. Ida had come home from one of her nights on the town and told me that she saw Knox with his tongue down someone’s throat. I wanted to retch at the thought. Ida didn’t say much else. She only smiled and watched me for a brief moment before walking away to her room.

  “I’m sixteen years old, Ida. I’d say I’m old enough to make the trip with you if I wanted to,” Marie scoffed, placing her hands on each side of her hips. “Question is, do I want to? Modesty and courting are so important to Mama and Papa. I don’t want to disappoint them. As it is, they have to deal with Knox. If they knew about Ida…” Marie’s eyes widened.

  The Duncans were not the most forgiving. They seemed to be very extreme with their opinions and punishments. “Well, I think it may cause Papa to drop on the spot. I could never do that to him.” Marie finally nodded her head in affirmation, as if she had come to her own conclusion. She was always the soft, compassionate sister, and even now, her compassion blossomed from within.

  “Don’t feel bad about being respectful, Marie. I don’t. Nothing wrong with following the ways of our church. You too, Grace,” Greta immediately responded, not wanting us to be tainted by Ida’s frivolous ways. “You’re still young, but when your time comes, you should wait to be courted by the right boy.” Greta looked between Marie and me as she set the conversation straight.

  I repeated Greta’s words in my mind in an assessing way. Truth be told, I only wanted Knox. I dreamed of what it would be like to kiss him but wasn’t sure how courting would fit into that picture, or if the Duncans would even allow us to marry, since they always referred to us as siblings, even though we weren’t blood relatives. It irked me that Dina never took a liking to me. She was always cordial, yet never warm. Maybe she thought I wasn’t good enough for her son, and worst of all, the piece of information that sent danger bells ringing in my mind was the fact that maybe Knox only saw me as a friend, too. Maybe I misread his intentions toward me, confusing his kindness for something else. I took a large, panicked gulp, thinking how many girls he had kissed and why he’d kept such an important detail from me if I was truly his closest and best friend. We shared all our secrets, or so I thought.
r />   Once we finished cleaning the kitchen, we separated to our rooms. I didn’t follow my sisters upstairs because I was too on edge from all the new information clouding my mind. The awful tightness building in my chest made it feel like it was hard to breathe as I pictured Knox with other girls. A new emotion curled its way into my heart. It felt tight and angry. I was seeing green at the thought of his lips connecting with any other girl’s but my own. As the rush of emotions ran deep, I grabbed a light coat from the closet and went outside with the hope that the fresh evening air would calm me down. I was scared to stroll too far at night, so I took a short walk toward the chicken coop when I noticed the lights on inside. I tried to turn away before Jacob noticed me. Not a moment later, he sauntered my way. Wearing a thick, plaid shirt and blue jeans, his hands tucked into his front pockets, shoulders slightly hunched, and happy grin splayed on his lips.

  “Hey.” His grin widened and his dark eyes danced. “I was just catching up on chores.” He looked down to his watch. “What are you doin’ out here by yourself this late?”

  “Just taking a walk.” I wrapped my hands around my waist. Jacob and I didn’t have much in common. Sometimes I felt like being so close with Knox was a deterrent for him.

  “It’s a nice night.” Jacob straightened himself out, looking up to the clear, inky sky. “Thing I love most about Sade is the stars at night. So many, like diamonds in the sky.”

  I smiled be polite.

  “Would you like to take a walk? It’s rare that I see you without my brother.” His comment rubbed me the wrong way, and my smile fell. Even though what he said was true. When Knox was around, he gave off a territorial vibe that I assumed prevented Jacob from getting too close.

  I wanted to be alone tonight to figure out the mess in my head. Wallowing in what I now realized was jealousy over Knox going to Des Moines to hook up with girls was what I needed to do to soothe my aching heart. Being rude to Jacob wasn’t my intention, though. Jacob waited for my answer. He was a loner most of the time, and since I understood something about loneliness, I obliged him. Jacob was a student at the Hamshean Academy I would be attending in a couple years, so I figured an allegiance with him made sense.

  I shrugged. “Sure, a walk sounds good.”

  We walked slowly and quietly, an awkward silence radiating the air. I didn’t have anything to say. I wasn’t familiar with his hobbies. He liked the Bible, but it wasn’t my thing. He wanted to be a lawyer, but that wasn’t my thing either. Besides, my mind was preoccupied with Knox kissing other girls. I wished I had a girlfriend my age to confide in. My sisters were great, but I could never reveal how I felt about Knox. I couldn’t confide in Jacob who always looked for opportunities to prove to Isaac that Knox was bad to the core. Maybe that’s why I kept my distance from Jacob, because I didn’t understand why he only looked for the bad. I understood why Knox kept his distance from Jacob who reinforced his own position as the perfect son while Knox was branded as trouble. With no blood relatives of my own, I hated how the twin brothers were pitted against each other.

  We had only been walking a couple minutes when I spotted a figure in the distance, almost like a shadow moving up the road. My heart sped up, figuring it must be Knox returning from his night out, though it wasn’t happiness I felt. It was more like a sense of dread, knowing the truth would somehow change our friendship or make him drift away from me even more. The thought of him pulling away caused panic to grip my throat, making the air feel like it was being sucked from my lungs all over again.

  I turned to look up at Jacob, noticing his jaw tense. He must have spotted Knox in the distance too.

  He turned to me and lifted his hand to my cheek where he softly caressed my skin. “You’re so beautiful. Every year your beauty grows,” he said. That felt weird and unexpected. I didn’t know what to do.

  I tilted my chin down. “Thank you.”

  “Have you ever kissed a boy, Grace?” he asked softly, tenderly.

  I shook my head. Why is he asking me this? I regretted his invitation to take a walk.

  “I’ve never kissed a girl. I’d like it if you could be my first. I’m not like my brother. I don’t go off and kiss many girls. I only want you,” he said.

  My mind had already been swimming with too many thoughts tonight, and Jacob’s words just made me feel dizzy, and not in a good way.

  With my head still bowed and offering him no response, he continued, “My father will expect me to court a girl one day. I want to make my father happy and do what he expects.” Jacob paused to clear his throat. “I plan to make myself a good future, unlike Knox who won’t make a cent with those stupid songs he writes.” My stomach dipped. Knox had written me some of those songs, and they were beautiful and deep. They made me feel special during the most difficult times in my life. I realized how different the twin brothers truly were. Jacob had a vindictive side. Knox was charming, deep, and when I was with him, I felt safe, at home. Jacob lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. I swallowed hard. He wanted to kiss me, but I wanted to kiss Knox, only he was in town shoving his tongue down other girls’ throats.

  I felt tongue-tied, and while my stomach roiled at the thought of kissing Jacob, anger from earlier also boiled in my veins. And so, when Jacob dipped his head and connected his lips to mine, I allowed it. I never promised him anything, and I was kissing him for all the wrong reasons. I knew Knox would be approaching, and I knew he may see the kiss. I wanted him to feel bad, like I felt bad about him kissing other girls. Only maybe he didn’t see me in that way. Maybe I was his charity case. Jacob’s lips were soft as they moved against mine. He wasn’t a bad kisser, but I didn’t have a comparison. My cheeks didn’t feel flushed and my body didn’t get hot from the connection of warm lips touching mine.

  “What the hell is going on here?” Knox’s voice boomed fire and destruction in the dark of night. He threw his bike to the ground and stalked toward us. Jacob took a step back, and I stood in shock.

  Knox lifted his fist, and I stepped in front of Jacob. Then something happened that I never expected to see. Knox’s eyes turned wide and he dropped his fist. It seemed like his whole body deflated.

  “Grace, go inside,” he insisted.

  “Only if you come with me,” I retorted, knowing full well that if I leave the brothers out here alone, they will fight to the death.

  “Grace,” he said, his jaw clenched tight.

  I turned to look up to Jacob who had a sly smirk on his face. “You should go inside. Let us deal with this man to man,” Jacob said.

  “No,” I snapped. What have I done? I should have never kissed Jacob. I knew he was vindictive. What was I thinking? I’m such a stupid girl.

  “Get inside, Grace,” Knox said. It was probably the only thing these two agreed on.

  “You go off every night to make out with girls. What do you care what I do?” I asked, barking at Knox. I don’t know where my strong voice came from. It must have been all the hurt bubbling up inside me.

  Knox took a step back and his mouth dropped, “How do you know that?”

  “Ida,” I said, narrowing my eyes to him in challenge.

  Knox took one look at me, then one look at his brother, and grabbed me by the arm, hauling me after him. He wasn’t hurting me, and I knew it had to be this way. Knox and I had some things to discuss, and Jacob wasn’t part of that equation.

  Chapter 5

  Knox

  I tugged Grace away from my jerk of a brother. She was clearly expecting an explanation from me as to where I’d been running off to. We were best friends, and she was two years younger than me. I didn’t think I owed her an explanation. Only something happened inside me when I saw my brother’s lips on hers. I realized she was growing up, too. Right now, it irked me that she wouldn’t look me in the eyes. At thirteen, her auburn hair had grown thick and long in slight waves. She was tall and slender, her skin a pale, milky color, her eyes resembling the forest at night. I sensed the tumult in her glare and a sudden wave
of nausea washed over me when she spewed the words about me being with other girls. I knew it was only a matter of time before she figured out where I had been going. It’s not like we were a couple. She was my childhood best friend and adopted sister.

  Still I felt terrible, even ashamed, but I was a fifteen-year-old boy with raging hormones. Grace was simply not ready for certain things, and I wasn’t sure she liked me in that way. She was too young, too pure. If I were being honest with myself, then I would admit the real reason I left most evenings was because I wanted something I couldn’t have.

  Instead, I chose to fill my nights lip-locked with slutty girls whose names I didn’t remember by morning. It seemed easier than spending valuable time with Grace while we sat next to each other, talking, playing cards, and singing in such close proximity that all I had to do was lean forward and take a taste of what I assumed would be the sweetest lips ever. There was only so much resolve I had, and so I worked out my frustrations during the week while spending weekends enjoying her company. It was a win-win situation until my idiot brother stole her first kiss.

  I took her hand and pulled her along toward the forest. “It’s late. We can’t go there now,” she said with warning. “If Papa catches us, we will both be grounded.”

  “We need to talk,” I said. Her hand felt sweaty in mine. Probably from my nerves being on edge as the picture of her kissing my brother clouded my vision.

  “So let’s talk here. Your brother didn’t follow us,” she insisted, pulling her hand from my grasp.

  I looked to the field. She was right, the asshole was out of sight.

  “You have no right to be angry or whatever you are.” She waved her hand up and down the length of me.

  I swiped a hand over my mouth and laughed sardonically. “I have every right to be angry.”

  “No, you don’t. We are best friends. That’s all,” she said, reminding me, as if I could forget.