Deceit: A Friends to Lovers Standalone Romance Page 6

  His words warmed my heart but left me speechless too.

  “I don’t know how to handle this…” he waved his hand between our bodies, “us… I mean, my parents would literally have a rifle out if they saw us sitting here half naked together.”

  I stiffened.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have phrased it that way. I just meant that my father is the unhinged type. I don’t want to push my luck, but I’ve wanted you in an intimate way for a while.” His Adam’s apple moved up and down as he spoke.

  A wave of want and heat rushed over my body as his gaze held me prisoner. I may not have had any experience with boys, and I may be shy and quiet around others, but with Knox I was always myself. Confident, bustling with self–esteem.

  “Did your brooding this afternoon have anything to do with my date tonight?” I lifted a brow, gazing at him intently.

  Knox narrowed his dark eyes. “Declan York, Gracie? Are you freaking kidding me? If I don’t deserve you, then Declan should never even come close to your vicinity.”

  I laughed for a moment before his words truly sank in. Why did he feel like he didn’t deserve me? Any happiness I had in the past five years was tied to him.

  “Declan is cute,” I huffed.

  Knox rolled his eyes. “Please save me the details.”

  “And what is this of you not deserving me?” I moved in closer. “Knox, look at me.”

  He lifted his gaze.

  “You’ve always been there for me. My happiness is tied to you. Can’t you see that?” I asked almost painfully. I hated that he didn’t feel good enough. Damn his parents.

  “I don’t, Gracie. I just don’t know how.” He shook his head back and forth. “I’m trying to make sense of this. I want to believe I’m good enough. I always felt good around you. No one ever made me feel like you do, Gracie. You know my heart, my soul. You are my heart and soul.” He hesitated, like he was nervous about what he was going to say next. “My teacher seems to think I have real talent. There’s an agent coming to Des Moines next month. He wants me to play for him. Mr. Briars knows him and would put in a good word for me.”

  “What does that mean? Are you leaving?” I asked, almost frantic.

  “It means I can’t wait to get the hell away from here. If it hadn’t been for you, I would’ve left already.” Frustrated, he blew out a breath. “I can wait another two years. I won’t leave without you.” His words held conviction as he brushed his thumb along my jawline.

  “In that case, I’m happy your teacher’s been such a big help. You’re so talented. I know you’ll make it big one day. I’ll be sitting in the front row of your first concert, cheering you on.”

  “Is that a promise?” he asked playfully, but his tone was serious.

  “That’s a promise. As long as you don’t forget about me when you become famous.” I laughed.

  “Never,” he replied with a hot, intense gaze.

  My gaze warmed as I admired Knox. He took my hand in his. It all felt very comfortable, like the way things used to be before it got complicated.

  I knew I had to reveal my truth, since he had been so open and honest about his own feelings. “Do you really think I’m interested in Declan? I agreed to go out with him because you didn’t keep your promise,” I finally admitted. Knox looked taken aback. “You said you’d kiss me, and I’ve waited too long. We’ve been alone like this hundreds of times. You could have made a move. Instead, you’ve been pulling away. I’m a sophomore.”

  “I don’t need to be reminded. Trust me, I know.”

  “I’m ready for my kiss, and if it isn’t going to be you, then I’m going to make it happen with someone else.” I smiled brilliantly, proud of myself. Knox had played that card for too long, and now it was my turn.

  “Whoa.” He narrowed his eyes. It looked like a volcano had erupted inside him. “Your kisses are mine. We made a promise. I won’t allow another man to steal something that’s mine.” I knew he was referring to me giving my first kiss to Jacob.

  “You know that when I kissed your brother, I was angry at you and jealous. It wasn’t because I had feelings for him,” I said.

  “You should mention that to my brother. He thinks you’re his.” He shook his head. “The way he looks at you…”

  “Don’t go there. He doesn’t matter,” I assured him. “Now, back to me and you. If you don’t want me in that way, I’ll have to accept it,” I said, sounding unaffected. I silently prayed for him to claim my lips this second. I only hoped I wasn’t pushing him too hard or into the arms of another girl.

  Knox let out a growl from the back of his throat, followed by some curses. “Is that what you think? That I don’t want you? I’m honestly not sure I’ll be able to stop kissing you if I start.” His gaze lowered to my breasts. It felt like he wanted to devour me.

  My nipples puckered beneath his stare. Knox’s words were meant to be a threat, to scare me off for a few more years until I was really ready for him, but I wanted to show him how ready I truly was.

  As Knox stared me down, I knew it was only a matter of time before one of us broke the silence and made a move.

  “Kiss me now,” I said sharply, feeling a sense of victory.

  His lips curled into a hungry smile, cobalt eyes turning black. I could feel his resolve waning. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. Electricity that had always crackled between us came to life in a whole new way. His lips felt soft and warm, tasting of sunshine. He shifted closer, placing a hand on my bare shoulder while his lips continued their slow caress. My whole body tingled as I leaned into him, feeling the heat radiating from his body.

  “I want you so badly,” he growled. “You’re testing my patience.”

  A burning sensation unfurled through my body. I could feel his kiss down to my toes. I slid closer and wrapped both my arms around his neck, pressing my nipples against his taut chest. My body was electric, my heart pounded, my senses were on overdrive. The friction between us intensified to hard rubs and heavy hands. Warmth crawled up my thighs, a new sensation I found addicting… just like Knox.

  Knox growled low and feral, licking the seam of my mouth. I wondered if every kiss was like this or if it was only Knox who caused this burning, consuming heat. The moment his tongue brushed my lips, my mouth opened and my tongue came out to play with his. He tasted like sweet sin. Perfect, sweet sin. My hands fell down his shoulders, rubbing along the strong grooves of his back. I melted into him, wanting the kiss to last forever, wanting to engrain this moment in my mind like I had done with so many other moments we shared.

  Knox cupped my head, deepening the kiss, and I whimpered the softest moan into his mouth. He laid me down on the blanket, allowing his large body to hover above me. His hardness pressed into my stomach. I knew about sex. Brooklyn was not a virgin and explained the details. I had also envisioned making out with Knox many nights while I lay in bed with heat between my thighs.

  As Knox’s lips slowly moved along my neck, nipping and licking, I felt as if I were floating on a cloud. When he cupped my breast, I pressed myself into him. He pushed my bra down. His eyes turned to molten rock. Placing a palm over one breast, he let out a guttural groan as he began kneading while running his finger over my sensitive nipple.

  “You will be my undoing,” he muttered in a haze of lust.

  I moaned.

  He continued the same rhythm on the other breast; my stomach clenched and my breaths quickened. I had heard of an orgasm before but wasn’t sure if that was about to happen. Knox’s breaths were coming just as fast, and I contemplated touching his hard, thick length tucked behind his boxer shorts. Brooklyn had told me that men liked when a girl pumped their cock. I wasn’t sure if I was brave enough, or if I needed to ask permission. Not wanting to give the matter too much thought, I lowered my hands, running them over his steely abs. His abdominal muscles clenched the lower I got.

  “You’re so perfect, Gracie,” he said with a deep, husky voice.

  My hand slid into his boxers, which were still damp from the swim, while keeping my eyes glued to his, asking for silent permission. His head moved up and down, taking a large gulp of air as I began to pump his shaft. The soft feeling of his skin surprised me while the contrast of his full, hard length filled my hand.

  “Slow down, Gracie.” He placed a hand over mine, stilling my movements and showing me what he liked. “Can I touch you too? Here?” he asked, cupping my sex over my white panties.

  My heart speed up, and I nodded my head. Knox slid a finger inside my panties, rubbing it along my clit, down to my opening.

  “That feels so good,” I moaned.

  “You’re so wet,” he began to say when small whimpers left my lips. “You want to come, don’t you?” he asked, and without waiting for an answer, continued. “I want that too. I want to make you come in so many ways. I would love to sink inside you, but you aren’t ready for any of that. I know this feels good, but we need to take things slow. You need to promise me that you aren’t going out with Declan,” he said when I let out a loud moan.

  “Oh, yes, Knox.”

  He hadn’t even stuck a finger inside me, and I was already on edge.

  “I only agreed to the date to get your attention, which I thought I lost…” I admitted breathlessly as he worked me over. My eyes rolled to the back of my head.

  “I want you to be mine, and I’ll be only yours,” he said as he pushed one finger inside my opening. My head fell back and I let out an even louder moan.

  “Oh, yes.”

  “Is that a yes to us? Gracie?”

  “Yes, yes.” I paused. “Yes, to us.” Another long moan. “Please.” I clenched around him. What was happening?

  Knox moved to lie beside me and began pumping his finger, fast
er and faster. He rubbed my clit with his thumb, and I began to scream out as an orgasm racked through my body. My eyes shut, my head tilted back, and my lips fell open, making the most erotic sounds. Chest rising and falling, nipples pert and standing to attention, my entire body and soul bowed to him, embracing him.

  When my breaths slowed, I opened my eyes and gave Knox a sleepy smile.

  “You enjoyed that, huh?” Knox asked proudly.

  I nodded, feeling airy and speechless.

  “I enjoyed that too,” he responded. “Do you know how many nights I dreamed about this? I dreamed of nights under the stars in the forest. Naked swimming in the pond. I’ve spent a heck of a lot of time fantasizing about you,” he admitted, his own breaths moving quickly. He lay down and snuggled close to me on the blanket, taking me in his arms.

  When I finally got my wits about me, I looked into his eyes and ran my fingers through his unkempt hair. Making out with him made me feel even closer to him, and suddenly the thought of him ever leaving, even in two years’ time made me nervous. What if the agent liked him and offered him an opportunity? He wouldn’t be able to pass that up. Too many thoughts rushed through my mind, causing anxiety to build.

  “Knox, when you told me earlier about your teacher having an opportunity for you to sing, what did you mean?”

  “I would never go anywhere without you. This is a practice run. I know you have two years left of high school. I’d never leave you here on your own. I doubt the agent will even be interested in me anyway,” he assured. But I knew he was that good, and an agent would see it.

  “Are you insane?” I snapped. “You know you have serious talent. If there’s one thing you should be sure of, it’s that.”

  “I can sing, but I would never go anywhere without you. I’ll pursue my career when you’re ready to come with me. That’s, if you want to come with me.”

  My eyes warmed. “Whatever happens, we are going to make it work. I want to go to art school and you want a singing career. We’ll figure it out. Right?”

  “Right!” He kissed my nose. “For now, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Even if that guy wants to sign me, I’m still here. There’ll be other opportunities. It’s just good for me to practice presenting myself to people like him.”

  “I don’t want you giving up your dreams on my account.” An eerie sense of worry and fear washed over me. I knew what singing meant to him. I understood how he felt when he was in his special place of words and sound. I couldn’t be the reason for ruining his dreams. “Let’s see what the agent tells you. Then we’ll decide. Okay?” I asked, waiting for his confirmation. It was important to me.

  “Okay.” He smiled, but I could tell it was forced, and that worried me too. “I love you, Grace. Always have. You need to know that.”

  “I know.” I closed my eyes and gave him a kiss. “I love you too.” Breathing those words were so easy. So natural. It was the first time we were declaring our love out loud, but it didn’t change anything. We had always had love, even if we hadn’t said the words. Yet this feeling of love felt like a new adventure we would conquer together. It was more like a promise of a future together than a mere fact. Another promise to add to our long list of promises.

  “We have to be careful. We can’t let my parents, Jacob, or my sisters find out what happened here today. My father may kill me if he finds out I touched you. He considers you a daughter. We need to act normal, like we’ve been drifting apart. We need to continue playing that role. Especially in front of my brother. He has always wanted you, and if he finds out we’re together, I’m afraid he’ll scheme to break us up. Please promise me,” Knox pleaded. “The consequences can be severe if we’re caught.”

  “I promise,” I replied with a nod. I pressed a kiss to his cheek and the stubble pricked my lips. Even the stubble lining his jaw was sexy. “And you promise me we decide together when an opportunity arises for you with singing.”

  “Promise,” he responded. “And you promise you’ll always be in my life,” he said, sealing his request with a quick, chaste kiss to my lips.

  “Promise.” I smiled into his mouth.

  “We better get back to the house before we raise suspicion,” Knox said, getting to his feet and extending a hand to me to help me up.

  My bra and panties had dried from the hot sun, and I quickly dressed myself and straightened my hair while Knox dressed himself. We began our way back to the main house, strolling a few feet apart. Two lovebirds wearing silly grins on our young faces. As we walked by the chicken coop, we passed Jacob feeding the chickens.

  “Everything good?” he asked, eyeing us both suspiciously.

  Knox and I barely looked at each other before responding in unison, “All good.”

  Our unified response caused a nervous shiver to pass over me. Jacob was smart and intuitive. I had to do something, and quick, or else he would detect the shift in our relationship.

  “Well, I better go get ready for my date,” I called out to both boys.

  Knox’s eyes widened before coming down to size. His jaw clenched, and Jacob frowned. “So, my brother couldn’t talk you out of that Declan guy, huh?”

  I quickly glanced over to Knox, then turned my attention back to Jacob. “I’m an independent woman. It’s just a movie.”

  “Don’t let my parents find out. You know they’d never let you date. You’re still too young to court. Heck, Marie is nineteen and they barely let her out of their sight,” Jacob chortled as he poured the feed for the chickens.

  “Marie’s their youngest daughter. They’re overprotective after learning about Ida, and let’s not even go there, because you know that was seriously messed up. I swear I can’t even bear looking at Father Joseph in church anymore. What kind of priest would tell parents to do that to their own child?” I exclaimed sadly.

  Ida’s frivolous ways eventually got her caught. After dating a boy from the next town for several months, her parents realized she wasn’t a virgin and banished her from the house, offering no support from that day forward. It was later that we all learned that Father Joseph gave the detrimental piece of advice that had gotten Ida banished. It made the rest of the Duncan kids look at Father Joseph through a different lens because of the cruel nature of the punishment.

  The Duncan girls had gone to the local Hamshean Academy. They had heard stories at school about students from other schools who had weekend parties where they drank and had sex. They understood that their parents had chosen a stricter New Age Hamshean lifestyle. When the Duncan siblings—minus Ida—and I all gathered in Greta’s room to discuss poor Ida’s fate, I had noticed Knox kept quiet. Jacob raised the issue of how unfair it was that Ida was punished for the same behavior Knox continued to display. The siblings had all chalked it up to their father being sexist, but I sensed there was more. Like Knox knew something, maybe a secret. I wanted to call him on it, but then we drifted apart, and I figured Knox probably had good reason for keeping quiet. Now, I was finding myself in a similar predicament to Ida and I felt the need to know what truly happened.

  “Keep it down, Grace. We don’t need my parents catching you talking about him that way,” Jacob warned.

  “Seriously, Grace, no more talk of Ida,” Knox agreed.

  If Isaac Duncan meant to set an example out of poor Ida, it worked. Now I worried about Knox and me getting caught. I would be thrown out of the only family I’ve known since my mom was killed. Despite their strict and questionable ways, I had come to think of the Duncan farm as home and the Duncans as the closest thing I would ever have to parents. Deep down, I didn’t want to disappoint them.

  “I’ll see you two later.” I nodded to the men, then continued toward the house. From the corner of my eye, I watched Knox make his way into the stables. It must have been his turn to take care of the horses.

  I went straight to my room and prepared my clothes on the bed for my date tonight. After my interlude with Knox this afternoon, I couldn’t imagine going out with Declan, but I knew I had to. Jacob was suspicious, I felt it. Knox was going to be fuming mad when I left the house. I would have to explain to him that the date with Declan was a good cover-up for our own relationship. I just had to figure out a way to deal with Declan, since he was a known male slut, which translated into him wanting to make the moves on me. The thought caused me to cringe. My plan to get Knox backfired big time. I just hoped I wouldn’t pay a high price for my games or, even worse, get caught.